Don’t judge a book by its cover

I’ll admit it; I was prejudiced. 18 months ago I wouldn’t even have acknowledged it. I’d have probably laughed in your face. Me? A nurse who has care experience spanning back to 2001. Someone who’s worked in rehabilitation so long …

What’s wrong with his hand?

People who know me know that i always carry Ivan around in a sling. Ivan sees the world from a position only slightly lower than I do, he interacts with everybody, smiles at strangers and pulls faces in shop windows. …

The curse of worse

“Things could be worse”, you hear it all the time. People repeat it to you like a inspiring mantra, it’s supposed to make you feel better. If anything in those first few weeks it makes you feel worse. When Ivan …

What’s in a name

When I look through some of the bits and pieces from hospital, his red book, his bracelets etc one thing jumps out looking at them all; “Baby boy”. It took 6 days to name my baby. I doubt there are …

The womanly art of pipette feeding

Breastfeeding. A word that is enough to fill a million hearts with emotions. I’ll admit that prior to having a baby I was very ignorant about breastfeeding. I had no idea of the difficulties that can arise, the personal struggles …

Guilt and other ways to torture yourself

I’ve read a few articles on the subject of children being born with birth defects. The search for answers lead me to a lot of places. Within the numerous articles, blogs and studies a few emotions are mentioned over and …

Who will love my baby?

The first few days in hospital were an emotional roller coaster. The surge of adrenaline combined with the shock of Ivan having an underdeveloped hand and the inability to sleep mixed together in an anxiety fuelled fog. I once read …

Nature vs Nurture, part 2.

My previous post (HERE if you missed it) covered our genetics clinic appointment and receiving the heartbreaking news that in the geneticists opinion Ivan’s hand has a genetic cause. This could mean there could be a 50% chance of Ivan …

Nature vs Nurture, part 1.

If I was to continue blogging in chronological order this is perhaps not the next post in line. However this one is a biggie, one that will be added to over time and one which is obviously a whole minefield …